Gritty Cartoon Hyperealism

Cartoon Characters in Gritty Hyper-Realism

As a writer and gamesmaster I have spent years trying to pin down what makes certain characters lodge in the mind long after the session ends or the book is closed. The answer arrived slowly, pulled from two places that do not usually sit together: the grotesque, exaggerated, uniquely broken inhabitants of Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast trilogy, and the grimdark aesthetic that Warhammer 40K refined into a lifestyle. Then Mad Max sealed it.

What stands out is not realism alone, and not cartoon exaggeration alone. It is the collision of the two. Cartoon characters rendered in gritty hyper-realism.

Peake’s castle is full of people who look and behave like living caricatures, yet every one of them feels solid enough to bruise you if they leaned too hard. Steerpike is a sharp, climbing insect of a man. Swelter is a mountain of rancid flesh and petty tyranny. The Twins are identical and yet somehow more identical than twins have any right to be. They are cartoons, but the world around them is heavy, damp, ritual-bound and unforgiving. That weight makes the exaggeration cut deeper.

Mad Max does the same thing with different tools. Immortan Joe is a dying god in a respirator and white paint, equal parts cartoon villain and terminal patient. The War Boys are chrome-toothed fanatics with a death-cult aesthetic that would look ridiculous in any other setting, yet the dust, the rust, the cough and the sheer physical cost of their lives make them feel inevitable. The exaggeration is the point; the grit is what sells it.

In roleplaying games this combination is gold. Players forget bland, “believable” NPCs by the next scene. They remember the one who looks like a fever dream and still has dirt under his nails and a reason to hate you.

What the hybrid actually is

A cartoon character in this sense is not comedy relief. It is a figure whose defining features have been pushed past the polite middle ground until they become iconic. The nose is too long, the laugh too loud, the obsession too singular, the body language too large. Hyper-realism then anchors that exaggeration in consequence, texture and cost. The character still bleeds, still smells, still has to eat and still dies if the wrong decision is made. The cartoon quality makes them memorable; the grit makes them matter.

How to build them

Exaggerated features

Start with one physical or behavioural trait and stretch it. Do not stop at “tall” or “ugly.” Make the height structural — a man so elongated he has to duck under every doorway and has developed a permanent stoop that looks like a question mark. Or a face so scarred and tattooed that the original features are almost theoretical. Give them a signature object that is slightly wrong: a mechanical arm that clicks too loudly, a cloak made of scavenged road signs, teeth filed into something that is not quite practical.

The key is consistency. Once the exaggeration is chosen, every other detail must serve it or contrast against it. A massive brute who speaks in a soft, precise, almost academic voice is more interesting than a massive brute who growls.

Personalities

Push one dominant drive until it becomes the character’s gravity well. Greed, loyalty, spite, ritual obsession, the need to be seen as useful, the need to be left alone — pick one and refuse to dilute it. Peake’s characters are almost pure functions of their roles and neuroses. Your NPCs can be the same.

Give them a private logic that makes sense only to them. The War Boy who paints himself chrome is not being ironic; he genuinely believes it will carry him to Valhalla. That sincerity is what turns the cartoon into something unsettling.

Roles

Place them in a function that the world needs, even if the world is broken. Gatekeeper, mechanic, midwife, record-keeper, executioner, storyteller. The more the role is ancient or half-forgotten, the more the exaggerated person wearing it becomes interesting. A librarian who has never left the archives and now believes the books are more real than the people outside is both cartoon and tragic. A scavenger who has turned vehicle maintenance into a religion is both ridiculous and necessary.

Stories

Give them a past that explains the exaggeration without justifying it away. The scars came from somewhere. The obsession started as a survival strategy. The theatrical mannerisms were once a way to be noticed in a crowd that would otherwise have eaten them. Keep the backstory short and sharp. One or two concrete events are enough. The rest can be implied by the way they flinch or the way they refuse to flinch.

Grit and grunge

This is the part that stops the character becoming pure cartoon. Texture. Dirt in the creases of their clothes. The smell of old oil and dried blood. A cough that never quite goes away. Tools that are jury-rigged and held together with wire and hope. Relationships that are transactional, resentful, or quietly desperate. The world should leave marks on them, and they should leave marks on the world.

Hyper-realism here does not mean photorealism. It means consequence. If they are a cartoon of a warlord, show the cost of keeping the warband fed. If they are a cartoon of a holy fool, show the infections and the broken teeth that come with living that way for twenty years.

Hyper-realism

Anchor every exaggerated trait in something the players can interact with. The giant’s reach is a mechanical advantage and also a vulnerability when the ceiling is low. The obsessive record-keeper’s perfect memory is useful until the day the records contradict each other and his mind starts to fray. The chrome-obsessed fanatic’s courage is real — and so is the fact that chrome paint is toxic when it flakes into open wounds.

Make their needs concrete. They need water, or spare parts, or a particular kind of silence, or the recognition of a specific person. When those needs are threatened, the cartoon becomes dangerous.

Putting it into play

When you introduce one of these characters, do not explain them. Show the exaggeration first, then let the grit arrive in the details. Let the players decide whether the man with the impossible scars and the soft voice is a threat, a resource, or a walking tragedy. The best ones are all three at once.

These characters work especially well in long campaigns because they do not flatten over time. A bland NPC becomes more bland the more you see him. An exaggerated one with real weight becomes more interesting as the contradictions and costs accumulate.

I keep returning to Peake and to the wasteland of Mad Max because both understood the same principle: the human mind remembers the extreme, but it only believes the extreme when it has been paid for in dirt, pain and time. That is the combination that makes a character stay with a table long after the dice have stopped moving.

Use it. Stretch the features. Ground them in consequence. Watch what happens.

Princess Pie

The Escalating Epic of Princess Pie  

©2026 Ordo Octopia. All Rights Reserved. 

Table of Contents

Premise

The Central Plot Points

World Sketch

The Truth of the Disappearance

Principal Characters

Military Presence at the Wedding

Tournament Knights

Core Locations

The Golden Veil, Yellow Army, and Long-Term Goals

Crossing into the Yellow Kingdom

Key Inns and Staff

Tavern Talk

Probable Player Directions (Most Likely Branches)

Tone and Player Odds

DM Guidance Tools

Character Sheets (AD&D 2nd Edition – Basic Archetypes)

The Escalating Epic of Princess Pie

An Adventure Module

For One-Shots and Campaigns

Premise

Two minor kingdoms, long enemies, have finally agreed to a dynastic marriage that will seal a defensive alliance against larger threats. On the night before the wedding the bride vanishes into the enormous Feral Forest, taking only her personal bodyguard. Both crowns issue a joint ransom. Every adventuring company, sellsword, and glory-hound within three days’ ride answers the call. So do the elite household troops of both kingdoms, still nursing generations of grudges.

What none of them yet know is that the disappearance is only the first of several simultaneous disasters.

The Central Plot Points

• Princess Pie refuses the politically necessary marriage to Prince CatCream because she will not swear a false oath about the parentage of the child she is already carrying.
• Both kings empty their best garrisons into the forest at the same moment.
• The Eastern Empire’s ambassadors arrive with a “wedding gift” of exotic dancers who are, in fact, a trained assassin cadre.
• An unusually competent orc warlord on the western frontier chooses this exact window of opportunity to launch the largest raid in living memory.
• The adventure is the collision of these four situations.

World Sketch

Three living kingdoms share a broad river-plain between mountains and forest. A fourth kingdom once existed in the west; it is gone.

Southern Red Kingdom – Borders the Feral Forest. Rich in timber, charcoal, and river trade. Its people are practical, forest-wise, and slightly less formal than their northern neighbours. Princess Pie is the only living child of its king.

Northern Blue Kingdom – Borders the high mountains. Rich in stone, iron, and cold-climate livestock. More rigid, heraldic, and status-conscious. Prince CatCream is its heir.

Eastern Yellow Kingdom – Larger, wealthier, and hungrier. It borders both forest and mountains and therefore has timber, stone, ore, and the manpower to use them. Its rulers regard the Red and Blue as useful buffer states that have outlived their usefulness.

The Western Wasteland (former Black Kingdom) – Generations ago the western realm collapsed under prolonged orc pressure and internal decay. Most survivors either fled east or were absorbed into the orc bands. The land is now a patchwork of ruined keeps, poisoned wells, and contested scrub. Adventurers and bandits both go there; the only real difference is whether they come back with a story the courts are willing to reward.

The Rivers

Two major rivers run north to south, one on either side of the Blue (northern) and Red (southern) kingdoms, lying between the Western Wastelands and the Eastern Yellow Kingdom. They form natural borders respected by both kingdoms more out of habit than law. The land between the two rivers is roughly hourglass-shaped: the rivers come closest together in the central contested strip known as The Battles, though even there they are not within sight of each other, even from the top of a watchtower.

• The Westflow (western river, toward the Wasteland)
  
• The Eastflow (eastern river, toward the Yellow Kingdom)

Further rivers exist inside the Yellow Kingdom and the Wasteland.

The tributaries that feed both rivers as they emerge from the northern mountains are often rocky, fast, dangerous, and narrow — full of rapids. Where these tributaries merge into the main rivers proper, the waterways widen, deepen, and slow. It is possible (and common) to sail or pole a small boat up and down the main rivers for trade; river travel is often quicker than the central road that links the edge of the Feral Forest all the way through the Red and Blue Kingdoms to the mountains.

Roads and Terrain

Northern roads (Blue Kingdom and higher ground) are generally paved with stone slabs or cobblestone. Southern roads (Red Kingdom) are a mixture of cobblestone, wooden corduroy, or simple dirt tracks. The North is at a higher altitude than the South; the change is a gradual incline rather than sudden.

The Western Wastes are not managed fields. They are largely meadow, moor, and scrub.

Travel Times (Approximate)

These are working guidelines for the referee. Adjust for weather, road condition, load, and urgency.

General rates (good conditions):

- On foot (normal march with gear): 20–24 miles per day

- Horse and cart / wagon: 15–20 miles per day (slower on southern dirt roads or in bad weather)

- Ridden horse (steady pace): 30–40 miles per day; short forced marches can cover more

- River (small boat or barge): Downstream 40–60+ miles per day depending on current and wind; Upstream much slower (pole, oar, or sail against the flow) — often half or less the downstream rate

Key relative times (approximate):

- Red Castle Town to Ashwell Steading / near Forest Edge: 1 hour easy ride, half a day on foot

- Red Castle Town to The Battles (central corridor): 1–2 days by horse, 2–3 days on foot or cart

- Red Castle Town to Blue capital region: 3–5 days under normal conditions (as previously noted for news travel)

- Red Castle Town to Western Marches / approaches to Rook’s Band village: 2–4 days by horse

- River travel between major points on the Westflow or Eastflow is frequently faster than the equivalent overland route, especially downstream

Society is generic feudal medieval. Flags, colours, and a few local customs differ; the underlying structure of lords, knights, guilds, and peasants does not. Formal religion is absent by design. People pay respect to local nature spirits, old stones, and river gods when it suits them. This keeps the scenario light and one-shot friendly.

There is a basic guild system in the Red and Blue kingdoms. It is less formal and more directional than authoritative, and far weaker than the strong, legendary guild system of the ancient and mostly forgotten Black Kingdom (which by all accounts was highly organised). Trade insignia and heraldry still use the symbols of the crafts. The Yellow Kingdom operates more as a caste system that overlaps with concepts of gold and hierarchy.

Orcs

Orcs are not a separate race. They are the long-term result of isolation, inbreeding, chronic malnutrition, and cultural collapse among the outcasts and survivors of the Black Kingdom. Typical traits: gangly or twisted limbs, patchy hair growing in the wrong places, deformed skulls, bad teeth, worse breath, low intelligence, and almost no capacity for sustained empathy or delayed gratification. They use crude clubs, rusty spikes, and scavenged tools. They follow a strong leader mainly to avoid being beaten by him. When that leader is unusually clever, they become temporarily dangerous.

Half-Orcs are usually called Orcs, despite being more passable as normal Humans. They exist along the western borders, usually the result of raids. They are shunned in the settled kingdoms and drift west, where many join the raiding bands. The line between “adventurer who raids the Wasteland” and “bandit who does the same” is thin and political. Reputation and whether a king decides to knight you are often the only differences.

The Truth of the Disappearance

The Pregnancy Secret

Princess Pie is four months pregnant. It is just beginning to show if one knows what to look for. The father is not Sir Knobalot. The secret is known only to a handful of her most trusted personal aides (most of whom remained behind in the Red castle) and to the Castle Witch, an ancient seer who has served the Red royal family for decades. Knobalot knows the princess is in trouble and has sworn to protect her; he does not know the full truth of the child. His reputation for bedroom adventures is real but irrelevant to this particular crisis.

The political marriage to Prince CatCream was meant to produce an heir who could finally bind the two smaller kingdoms against the Yellow threat. A child of uncertain (and non-Blue) parentage destroys that symbolic value. Hence the midnight flight.

The Father – Rook

The father of Princess Pie’s child is Rook.

He is a charismatic, silver-tongued bandit leader operating out of the Western Wasteland. He told the princess a carefully polished story: that he is the illegitimate eldest son of the previous Yellow King’s brother, raised quietly in the East before he chose a life of adventure and, eventually, banditry. The claim is thin, almost impossible to prove, and widely unknown. It is just strong enough to put him on certain quiet lists in the Yellow court — men who might one day be useful, or who might need to disappear. To become a serious contender for the Yellow throne he would have to remove the entire primary bloodline. He has neither the army nor the inclination for that… yet.

Whether the story is true or simply the best seduction he has ever delivered is left for the referee (and possibly later play) to decide. What matters now is that Princess Pie believed him completely. She is in love with him and intends to reach him and live with his band if she can.

Rook now holds an unexpected card: the child she carries is a legitimate heir to the Red throne. That fact alone changes his value to every faction that learns of it.

Where the Princess Actually Went

She did not flee into the Feral Forest.

That is the assumption made by both kingdoms and the reason the garrisons emptied southward. In reality she slipped out of the Red castle with Sir Knobalot’s help (or at least his deliberate blindness) and headed west, into the Wasteland, to find Rook.

The first phase of the adventure, from the players’ point of view, is therefore most naturally an investigation:

• How did she leave the castle?
• Who helped her?
• What trail did she leave?
• Why do the official search parties keep insisting on the forest?

This investigation can begin in the Wedding City, move through edge inns and border villages, and eventually point west rather than into the deep trees.

Why the Forest Is Immediately Blamed

The rapid official conclusion that Princess Pie fled into the Feral Forest is not pure invention by the court. It is the cover story she herself planted.

In the days before the celebrations her personal maid, Lira, heard her speak of wedding nerves. Half-serious, half-joking, the princess said the whole arranged marriage made her want to run away into the Feral Forest and live as one of the forest fae — an old childhood fantasy the two women had shared since they were girls. Lira later repeated the remark (without malice) when the princess vanished. Combined with the complete lack of other immediate leads, the comment was seized upon by both kings and their advisors. It gave them a single, actionable direction and allowed them to appear decisive.

The marriage itself was a recent political decision. Generations of border skirmishes had exhausted both Red and Blue; the alliance was an attempt to stop the slow bleeding of men and resources. There had been little time for genuine courtship or personal attachment.

Use in Play: The forest remains the loud, well-funded official narrative for at least the first several days. Players who dig into physical evidence (hoof-prints, Elias, Ashwell Steading, horse dealers) can discover the truth and change the course of the adventure while the bulk of both armies is still committed in the wrong direction.

Principal Characters

Southern Red Kingdom

Princess Pie

Young, stubborn, already showing. She is not helpless, but she is operating on pure desperation. Her primary concern is the safety of the child and the avoidance of a marriage built on a lie she cannot stomach.

Use in Play: The central wild card. Her decisions drive the personal story. Protecting or finding her (and the unborn heir) becomes a major goal for many factions once the pregnancy is known.

King Gideon Russet

Aging, pragmatic, increasingly desperate. He knows the alliance is the only thing standing between his realm and eventual absorption by the Yellow Kingdom. The disappearance of his only child is both personal and political catastrophe. He genuinely wants the alliance to work because he is tired of burying young men. Once the crisis begins he becomes decisive to the point of inflexibility — he needs a clear course of action and clings to the forest search long after doubts appear. Protective of his daughter but not especially close to her emotionally.

Queen Rowan

Queen consort of King Gideon Russet and mother of Princess Pie. Practical supporter of the political marriage. Little further personal detail is provided in the current draft.

The Castle Witch (Mother Harrow)

Ancient, half-blind, more seer than spellcaster. She delivered the princess and has kept the pregnancy secret. She remains in the castle and may become a source of cryptic information if the players return or send word.

Visual: Extremely old, thin as a winter branch, skin like crumpled vellum, one milky eye and one sharp black one. She wears layered grey-green robes that smell of dried herbs and damp earth. Her hair is a white tangle bound with twine and small bones. She moves slowly but never seems frail.

She has lived in the lower levels of the Red Castle for longer than anyone can remember — longer than the current royal line. She tends a private herb garden separate from the kitchen plots and maintains a cluttered basement workshop of drying racks, bubbling pots, and chalk-marked stones. She earns coin from divination but answers only in alliterative, half-rhymed, cryptic speech. Her madness is both genuine and a deliberate shield against being forced into clear answers.

She sensed something of the father’s nature through intuition and fragmentary vision (an outlander, charming, dangerous, tied to both waste and distant gold) but does not know his name or exact location. She did not foresee the disappearance and has no useful knowledge of where the princess went.

Sample replies (use as needed):

• On the father: “A smiling shadow from the sundown side, silver-tongued and saddle-born, wearing borrowed blood and broken banners.”
• On where the princess went: “Westward wings and wilful feet, beyond the blackened farm and further still — the forest is a feint, a false and foggy finger.”
• On the pregnancy: “A secret seed already set, a royal root in rogue’s rich soil. Speak it soft or see the storm.”
• On whether she will help find her: “When the auspices are aligned and the ashes settle, ask again. Premature probing picks poor paths.”
• On Sir Knobalot: “Loyal leaf that will not leave the branch, even when the wind is wild.”
• General deflection: “Truth turns in twos and threes; plain speech is a poor prophet’s portion.”

Use in Play: Cryptic information source. Best used when players return to the castle or send messengers. Her alliterative style rewards careful listening and note-taking.

Sir Knobalot

Mightiest knight of the Red Kingdom and the princess’s personal bodyguard. Loyal to her above the crown. Competent in a fight, less so at politics. His reputation for romantic adventuring is widely known and occasionally exaggerated.

He only learned of Rook when the princess decided to flee. She used the sleeping draught on anyone who might notice her absences, including (on occasion) him. When she made the final decision she explained the situation, invoked his oath to protect her, and told him she believed Rook to be a distant Yellow heir.

He travels with her all the way to Rook’s village in the Western Wastes. He will defend her to the death. He has known her since she was a small child and loves her with the fierce, protective loyalty of a long-time guardian. He does not know she is pregnant until she chooses to tell him (or until it becomes physically obvious).

Use in Play: The loyal guardian who may be forced into open treason. Excellent roleplaying foil for parties that reach the princess. His honour and the pregnancy secret create strong internal conflict.

Chancellor Rubus Vellum

The king’s chief advisor. Paperwork-obsessed, cautious, and already calculating how to spin the crisis to keep the Blue alliance from collapsing immediately. Thin, precise, and obsessed with precedent and paperwork. He is the voice of caution and continuity. In private he is already calculating how to preserve as much of the Red administrative structure as possible no matter who ends up ruling. Not brave, but extremely hard to panic.

General Hardwood

Chief of the Red army. A solid, unimaginative professional who hates the idea of emptying the garrisons into the forest but obeys. Once ordered into the Forest he follows the order to the letter. Respected by the rank-and-file.

Lady Mirelle

Mistress of the Wardrobe and informal social gatekeeper of the Red court. Ambitious, well-informed, and skilled at reading the mood of the court. She is one of the first to sense that the official story about the forest may be incomplete.

Note: Lady Mirelle is the mother of Lira. Lira’s mother is (and remains) personal maid to the Red Queen.

Lira – Personal Maid to Princess Pie

Lira grew up alongside the princess; her mother is personal maid to the Red Queen. She is loyal to Pie with the intensity of a sister and is skilled at the quiet politics of the castle.

She knows the princess is pregnant and has been sworn to absolute secrecy. She does not know the father’s identity and, like most people who eventually learn of the pregnancy, assumes it is Sir Knobalot. Whether she ever reveals what she knows depends entirely on how hard she is pressed and by whom.

When the princess disappears Lira is genuinely shocked and frightened. Her first fear is kidnapping. She cooperates with the official investigation but protects the pregnancy secret for as long as she can.

Lira knows the princess has a secret meeting place with a lover but does not know its location.

Use in Play: Key early information source under pressure. Protecting or breaking her silence is a major moral and investigative decision for the party.

Northern Blue Kingdom

King Cobalt the Careful

Cold, status-conscious, and risk-averse. He agreed to the marriage out of strategic necessity rather than enthusiasm. Publicly outraged by the disappearance; privately relieved that the wedding is delayed. Quick to suspect Red treachery.

Prince CatCream

The intended groom. Young, handsome enough, and more interested in tournaments and hunting than statecraft. Not cruel, merely unready. The disappearance leaves him confused and slightly resentful at being made to look foolish. Privately relieved the wedding is delayed; publicly he must appear outraged.

Lady Isolde (Queen Consort)

Sharper and more dangerous than her husband. She understands power and reputation. While Cobalt fumes, Isolde is already thinking about how to extract advantage or at least minimise humiliation for the Blue crown.

Marshal Frost

Blue army chief. Disciplined, proud, and still nursing old border grudges. He sees the joint search as both duty and opportunity. Distrusts Red commanders and will prioritise Blue interests if forced to choose.

Chancellor Rhea

Calm, analytical, and quietly ruthless. She is the counterpart to Vellum and the one most likely to suggest that the alliance may already be dead.

Sir Lantern

Notable Blue knight, rival to Knobalot in reputation, currently leading one of the larger search parties.

Eastern Yellow Kingdom

The Golden Sovereign (rarely seen)

Distant, expansionist, patient. Views the Red-Blue marriage as a temporary inconvenience.

Ambassador Silk

Official head of the “wedding delegation.” Polished, smiling, and entirely disposable.

The Harem-Captain

Supreme leader of the Golden Veil troupe. Cold, precise, and utterly professional. Appears as the most graceful and gracious of the dancers. Makes the final decisions when the plan begins to unravel.

General Jade

Commander of the Yellow invasion army already staged just beyond the eastern border. Professional, patient, and loyal to the expansion project. Measures success in secured territory and minimised Yellow casualties.

Lord Aurelion (designated for Red lands after conquest)

Ambitious younger brother of the Golden Sovereign. Competent administrator who believes in order and hierarchy. Views the Red population as raw material to be reorganised.

Lady Vespera (designated for Blue lands after conquest)

Cool, intelligent cousin of the Sovereign. Prefers subtle control to open brutality but will not hesitate to use force. Sees the old Blue nobility as obsolete.

Western Wasteland

Warlord Gristle

Unusually intelligent orc leader. He has spent years suppressing rivals and organising the bands. He timed his largest raid precisely for the moment both smaller kingdoms emptied their best troops into the forest. His goal is permanent seizure of border farmland, not mere plunder.

Use in Play: The western crisis. Early discovery by players can give the kingdoms critical warning; failure leaves the western marches open.

Neutral / Other

Mother Thorn

Neutral power in the forest. Herbalist, midwife, occasional buyer of inconvenient secrets. She can provide shelter, false trails, or magical misdirection. She will also sell the same services to the highest bidder among the pursuit parties. She will help the princess, for a price that may not be paid in silver.

Use in Play: Classic neutral power broker. Bargains with her should feel costly and interesting. She can point parties toward or away from the real trail depending on what is offered.

Old Elias

Very elderly, somewhat dotty widower who owns Elias’s Narrow House against the outer wall of the Red Castle. Respected because his two sons died decades ago in a border skirmish against the Blue Kingdom and received posthumous medals. He has no idea who his occasional “regulars” really were.

Use in Play: Classic “dotty but truthful” witness. His delayed testimony is one of the strongest early contradictions to the official forest narrative.

Military Presence at the Wedding

In addition to the knights, small military units are present for the wedding celebrations.

Red forces are of course present as the host kingdom.

Blue military contingent

The visiting Blues include their military chief (Marshal Frost) and his royal elite, with carefully chosen numbers so as not to appear as a threat, yet sufficient to protect the Blue Kingdom dignitaries should need arise. These are effectively foot-soldiers transported in wagons (one for the men, a second for supplies).

It consists of two units of 5 men each, plus one unit-boss (sergeant or equivalent rank) per unit. All are lower ranking than knights or the senior army chiefs. They are armed with short swords, small shields, armour, helmets, and tabards/flags showing Blue heraldry. They do not carry gear for prolonged war — this is officially a peace mission.

• Unit 1: Veterans experienced at war in The Battles with the Red army. They carry personal grudges that must be overcome with their Red counterparts.
• Unit 2: Trained but inexperienced young men with little active military service. They hope the wedding will herald peace so they will not have to fight the Red Kingdom (and can instead unite against the orcs).

They are housed in an empty wing of the Red army barracks in the Red castle city for the duration of the celebrations. They have limited leave to “drink with the men.” If that goes well, Red and Blue counterparts will be allowed into the town among the civilians to enjoy the festivities.

The project to integrate the two armies by having the soldiers befriend each other and resolve old grudges is a deliberate tension point and part of the spectacle. Personal grudges among the military are controlled behind closed doors early in the schedule. Old soldiers talking about the war times with their former opponents, now that it is peacetime, turns out to grow mutual respect more than inflame old wounds. The older men get on despite the terrible affliction of war which previously separated them.

Political decision regarding The Battles

Early in the festival week (before the Princess disappears), the politicians of both Blue and Red kingdoms, along with the military chiefs of both, and with the Yellow representatives present, sit around a table and universally agree on a plan: after the wedding, this mixed unit will be posted in The Battles with the intention of “cleaning it up of the bandit-adventurers and mercenaries who are exploiting the situation” (both sides have hired those same bandit-adventurers as mercenaries in the past). They collude to blame-shift onto the Orc factions as a unified common enemy. This works well.

The unit will also be tasked with improving conditions in the Battle region, including restoration of the ruined bastion (which will involve clearing it of the bandit-adventurer-mercenaries who currently use what remains of it to avoid paying for inns). The bastion has become notorious for that use. The plan symbolises a great deal to all of the people.

News of this agreement spreads around the town. Yellow kingdom riders send the news to the Yellow Kingdom (and to the army hidden along their border). It does not change their invasion plans.

Use in Play: Provides immediate social and roleplaying opportunities in the city (soldiers drinking together, old grudges surface then soften). Later, the planned mixed unit and the clearing of the ruined bastion become relevant if the party travels through The Battles or deals with bandit-adventurers there. The Yellow knowledge of the plan can be used as a rumour or intelligence hook.

Tournament Knights

Red Kingdom (3 + Sir Knobalot)

- Sir Aldric of the Oak – Steady, traditional, slightly pompous. Squire: Young Tam (eager, loyal, sixteen).

- Sir Brenna Red-Hand – Aggressive, competitive, scarred from border fighting. Squire: Peta (sharp-eyed girl, quiet, very competent).

- Sir Cedric the Younger – Charming, ambitious, plays to the crowd. Squire: Robb (hero-worshipping, a bit clumsy).

- Sir Knobalot (see Principal Characters)

Blue Kingdom (4)

- Sir Elowen Frost – Cool, precise, excellent jouster. Squire: Lina (observant, records everything).

- Sir Gareth of the Lake – Affable, well-liked, not the deepest thinker. Squire: Matthias (cheerful, good with horses).

- Sir Torin (Isolde’s Champion) – Intensely loyal to the Blue queen consort, proud. Squire: Kael (younger and fiercely protective of his knight’s honour).

- Sir Dorian Wall – Grim, dutiful, little sense of humour. Squire: Edric (serious, already thinking like a knight).

Yellow Kingdom (2)

- Sir Kael of the Golden Spur – Polished, confident, faintly condescending toward the smaller kingdoms. Squire: Darius (well-trained, keeps his opinions to himself).

- Sir Lysandra Veil – Observant, controlled, more spy than pure jouster. Squire: Sera (quiet, notices details others miss).

The Black Knight

A heavily armoured half-orc who never removes his helm. He claims to be the last knight of the lost Black Kingdom and speaks of old barrows and forgotten gods. In truth he found the armour in the Wastes. He is a formidable fighter with no loyalty to the orc hordes. He is favoured to win the tournament — which is abandoned before it can conclude. Silent, imposing, fights with raw power and surprising skill. Travels and fights alone (no squire).

Core Locations

The Wedding City (Castle and Lower Town)

Still decorated for celebration. The great hall is full of nervous nobles, the lower town is packed with sellswords arguing over shares of the ransom, and the eastern delegation’s pavilion sits a little too close to the royal residences. If the player characters remain here they will be among the first to notice that the “dancers” are taking careful note of who drinks from which cup.

The Festival Markets

There are two distinct markets during the celebrations:

• The Town Market (inside the walls): Small, cramped, and traditional. Controlled more tightly by the local Market Guild. Higher fees, more restrictions, better for higher-status or permanent traders.
• The Gypsy Market / Farm Market (outside the Northern gate): A large, temporary marketplace that has formed because the inner market cannot cope with the festival crowds. It does not charge (or charges very little) to hire stalls from the Market Guild, has fewer restrictions, and is more bawdy and lively. Fish markets, livestock, and bulk agricultural trade happen here. Farmers and ordinary folk simply call it the Farm Market. Both markets are essential; people move between them constantly.

The markets are packed with stalls from all over. Normal presence includes river fishermen, agricultural produce, livestock, basic crafts, and local goods. Extra festival stalls appear: entertainers’ sidelines, tournament-related goods, fine cloth, and celebratory foods. Blue Kingdom traders bring northern stonework, iron goods, cold-climate livestock products, and more formal craftsmanship. Yellow traders (or their agents) bring eastern luxuries, finished metalwork, and exotic items. Folk stalls from the edge of the Feral Forest offer nature-spirit effigies, herbal charms, carved wooden tokens, and the occasional “fae enchantment” of dubious authenticity.

Unusually, there are fewer wasteland stalls than normal (herbs, animal skins, scavenged curios). This absence is noticeable to anyone who has attended previous gatherings. People are beginning to ask where the wastelanders are.

Characters will almost certainly pass through one or both markets more than once. They are excellent places for rumours, chance meetings, pickpockets, and observing who is present or missing.

The Forest Edge

A string of wayside inns and toll villages that have suddenly become boom towns. Information, rumours, and knives change hands here. One innkeeper knows more than he should about the princess’s route; another is already selling forged “royal warrants.”

The Feral Forest

A deep, older woodland whose paths shift when unwatched. Landmarks include a half-ruined watchtower still claimed by both kingdoms, woodland villages of charcoal-burners and outlaws, the cottage of Mother Thorn, and supernatural clearings where the forest itself seems to edit memory, warp time, open into the faerie-realm, or worse.

Edge Zone (relatively safe)

Within clear sight of open ground the forest is used for hunting, gathering, charcoal, and limited timber. Villages and logging camps exist here. The trees grow back with unnatural speed. Staying here is considered ordinary risk.

Deeper Forest

Once the edge is lost, the rules change. Paths shift. Memory becomes unreliable. Some clearings feel older than the kingdoms. No one from Red, Blue, or Yellow has gone truly deep and returned with a coherent account. The common saying is that the forest is “as endless as the mountains.”

The forest does not need to be fully mapped. Its primary function is to be a place where plans go wrong, search parties thin out, and the princess (if she were there) would have a genuine chance of remaining hidden.

Example Forest-Edge Village – Ashfen

A typical charcoal-burner and outlaw village on the Red side of the Feral Forest edge. Smoke hangs permanently in the air. Rough wooden huts, charcoal pits, and a single larger longhouse that serves as both tavern and meeting place. The inhabitants demand steep tolls in information or coin for passage or guidance. They know the local spirits and the safer paths, but they do not go deep. Briar (serving wench at the Timberline Rest) can point parties here. Mother Thorn sometimes trades with them.

Use in Play: Early information and possible false leads. The villagers can confirm or deny sightings of riders. They have no loyalty beyond coin and survival.

The Western Marches / Wasteland Border

Farmland and timber camps that have historically been under attack by small orc warbands. Recently it has been quiet — too quiet. Warlord Gristle has been building a horde here with the goal of permanent settlement rather than mere plunder. His army consists of many ordinary orc camps gathered together; it is large, poorly supplied, and very hungry. Most of the remaining wasteland villages that tried to survive in the west have already been raided.

During the wedding celebrations the absence of the usual wastelanders is only just beginning to be noticed. People initially dismiss reports of heavier raiding as “another orc raid.” At the festival, when communities from different areas talk, the pattern becomes clearer: almost no wastelanders have arrived, and no one has heard from them for some time. A few early refugees may appear before or just after the princess disappears; they know they were raided but do not yet understand that a unified army under Gristle is on the move. Full news of “a war chief called Gristle is heading this way!” arrives later, after the main forces have already gone into the Feral Forest. Until then, warnings are often written off as festival exaggeration or the kind of gloomy rumour that some people always spread. The Castle Witch’s later divination can confirm the scale of the threat when the referee is ready for the western crisis to become undeniable.

Ashwell Steading (Derelict Farmstead)

One hour’s easy ride west of the Red Castle. Small, long-abandoned farm just off an old drovers’ track. Fields gone to scrub and bramble. The farmhouse is a blackened shell from an old orc raid; only two walls and part of the chimney stand. A stone well still holds water. Behind the ruin, half-hidden by nettles and fallen beams, is a low cellar entrance. The bandits (Rook’s people) have cleared and reinforced the basement: dry, defensible, easily concealed. A few bedrolls, a locked chest, and a narrow ventilation gap are the only signs of regular use. Shallow unmarked graves lie at the edge of the old orchard.

This was the couple’s regular meeting point. When the princess fled for good she and Sir Knobalot almost certainly used the same western track that leads toward Ashwell.

Use in Play: One of the strongest early investigative locations. Fresh hoof-prints, a recently used cellar, or a discarded token can point players west long before the official search parties stop insisting on the forest.

Elias’s Narrow House

Built directly against the outer wall of the Red Castle. Thin, tall town-house only one room wide, three storeys plus steep attic. The attic is reached by a narrow ladder-like stair and trap-door. From the small attic window a person can look out over the lower town and the western approaches.

Owner: Old Elias (see Principal Characters). The princess paid him a substantial sum to keep the entire house empty during the wedding period and used the attic briefly as a final staging point.

Use in Play: Compact atmospheric investigation site. Elias’s delayed, confused but truthful testimony is a key contradiction to the official narrative.

River Port (Archetype)

There are many small river ports along the Westflow and Eastflow; most are similar. A typical example has a wooden or stone quay, a few warehouses or open sheds for goods, a cluster of houses for boatmen and their families, a simple inn or tavern, and space to beach or moor small trading boats and barges. Activity is steady: loading and unloading grain, timber, charcoal, fish, stone, iron goods, and passengers. River travel is often faster than the central road, especially downstream. Ports near the northern mountains see more caution because the tributaries above are rocky and dangerous; ports further south on the broader, slower stretches are busier and safer.

Use in Play: Useful stopovers, sources of river gossip, possible places to hire boats, or points where news (or refugees) first arrive from upstream or downstream.

Small Agricultural Village (Archetype)

Found throughout both kingdoms. Most are similar in layout and daily life. Buildings in the North are more often stone; in the South more often wooden or wattle-and-daub. Thatched roofs are common everywhere. These are working agricultural communities — fields of grain, vegetables, pasture for livestock, and the usual mix of small crafts. Straw and grass are used freely for thatching, bedding, and fodder. The Western Wastes, by contrast, are not managed fields; they remain largely meadow, moor, and scrub.

Villagers are practical, suspicious of strangers in unsettled times, and primarily concerned with the next harvest and the safety of their animals. They can supply basic food, lodging in a barn or common house, and local knowledge, but they have little interest in the high politics of the capitals.

Use in Play: Generic stop on the road, source of local colour and minor rumours, possible place of refuge or early warning when refugees or orc activity spill eastward.

Typical Orc Camp

Orc camps are temporary. The orcs are nomadic by necessity and habit, usually moving in small groups, always looking for the next source of food. A single camp consists of rough shelters (hides, scavenged timber, or simple lean-tos), a central fire pit, piles of bones and refuse, and a handful of scavenged weapons and tools. They leave mess and little of value behind when they move on.

Warlord Gristle has changed the pattern by forcing or persuading most of the scattered bands to camp together. His army is therefore many ordinary orc camps parked side-by-side, forming a large, hungry, semi-organised host. It has already raided most of the surviving wasteland villages. The host is constantly short of food and is driven by that need as much as by Gristle’s ambition.

Use in Play: Individual small camps can be encountered as low-level threats or sources of crude intelligence. The massed camps of Gristle’s army are a strategic threat rather than a single encounter; the party is more likely to meet scouts, raiding parties, or the leading edge of the host than the entire force at once.

The Battles (Contested Borderland)

The central, narrowest part of the hourglass-shaped land between the Westflow and the Eastflow, where the two rivers come closest together (though they remain out of sight of each other even from a watchtower). A long, narrow corridor that has changed hands dozens of times over the generations. Neither kingdom has ever held it securely for long. Peasant farmers here regard themselves as neither Red nor Blue (or both at once). They treat shifting banners as weather.

The landscape records the long struggle: trenches, low embankments, old burial mounds, scattered watchtowers (manned only when one side feels the need to make a show of strength), and near the centre a ruined fort / bastion. This fort has been taken, retaken, and left to decay so many times that it is now more symbol than stronghold. It has become notorious as a free sleeping place for bandit-adventurers and mercenaries who prefer not to pay for inns.

Example Watchtower – The Pinch Tower (sometimes called the Narrows Watch)

A typical stone-and-timber watchtower standing on a low rise in the heart of The Battles, at the point where the two rivers come closest. Currently in a state of mild disrepair. The upper platform gives good views of the corridor itself, though neither river is visible from it. A small garrison of 4–6 men (rotating Red or Blue depending on the latest agreement) mans it when politics require a presence. Otherwise it stands empty and is occasionally used by travellers or bandits. The mixed unit planned after the wedding is intended to restore and properly garrison such positions, starting with the ruined bastion.

Use in Play: The Battles becomes a chaotic crossroads once refugees, returning knights, Yellow scouts, and eventually the orc host and Yellow army begin to move through it. The ruined bastion and the watchtowers make excellent encounter sites, negotiation points, or temporary bases. The planned “cleaning” of the bastion by the mixed unit is public knowledge early on and can motivate or complicate adventurer activity in the area.

Rook’s Band Village (Broken Banner Village)

A half-ruined village in the Western Wastes, far enough from the main orc concentrations under Warlord Gristle that it is not an immediate target. Defensible well, a few standing roofs, enough distance from civilisation that only the desperate or the outlawed come looking. The band survives by hunting, small-scale raids on isolated farm stores, and the occasional larger score.

Core members of Rook’s Band:

- Rook – Leader. Charming, persuasive, opportunistic. Genuinely fond of the princess (or at least of the leverage she represents). Excellent talker, competent but not legendary fighter.

- Magpie – Lieutenant and quartermaster. Sharp, practical, keeps the band fed and the accounts. Distrusts romance and royal complications.

- Hearth – Big, steady former Red man-at-arms who deserted after a bad campaign. The band’s muscle and closest thing to a sergeant.

- Bracken – Half-orc tracker and scout. Quiet, effective, more comfortable in the wastes than in any town.

- Sparrow – Young, quick-fingered thief and lookout. Hero-worships Rook. Likely to be the first to spot approaching strangers.

- Sister Bone – Middle-aged herbalist and former midwife who left her village after an accusation of witchcraft. Handles wounds, births, and the occasional quiet poisoning.

- Two or three unnamed hands – deserters, debt-runners, and half-orcs.

The band is small enough that the arrival of a pregnant princess (and later, possibly, player characters) is a major event. They are not an army. They are a pressure point. They are loyal to one another up to a point, but they are still bandits. Their strongest remaining bond is the shared cache of goods and the relative safety of the village. Once that is compromised, individual self-interest rises quickly.

Integration / Use in Play: Early investigation of the princess’s flight has a clear destination: west, not into the deep forest. The forest search remains a large, noisy red herring that empties the garrisons and creates the window for both the Yellow assassins and Warlord Gristle. Rook’s claim (real or false) and the unborn child’s status as Red heir give every major faction a new reason to care once the truth begins to surface. The Broken Banner village becomes a strong mid-to-late adventure location: sanctuary, negotiation site, or target, depending on how the players approach it. Sir Knobalot’s position grows more interesting the closer the party gets.

Always refer to the group as Rook’s Band (never “crew”).

The Golden Veil, Yellow Army, and Long-Term Goals

The Golden Veil – Elite Assassin Troupe

Presented to the Red and Blue courts as an exotic diplomatic gift: a troupe of highly skilled entertainers sent by the Yellow Sovereign to honour the coming alliance. In reality they are the Yellow Kingdom’s most trusted assassin-acrobats, trained from youth in dance, seduction, surveillance, and silent killing.

They number roughly a dozen: mostly women, with a few men of equal skill. Their public style blends refined formal grace with fluid, hypnotic movement. Flowing silks, layered veils, kohl-lined eyes, and jewellery that chimes softly create an atmosphere of luxurious otherness. The performance is deliberately sensual and slightly alien, designed to distract and disarm.

Their signature piece is a ceremonial dance said to celebrate the ending of old wars. During the climax the dancers draw curved blades that hang from leather thongs around their necks. The blades are presented as sacred ritual objects. In truth they are functional weapons, and the dance is perfect cover for positioning.

The full plan required the wedding to proceed on schedule. The princess’s disappearance throws everything into disorder. The Harem-Captain is forced to improvise. Some assassinations may still be attempted; others are postponed or abandoned. The rider meant to signal success instead reports the disappearance.

Use in Play: Ticking threat inside the Wedding City for groups that remain behind. Source of early clues (unusual blades, overly disciplined entertainers, late-night movements). Potential temporary allies or information sources if individual members can be turned after the plan collapses. Direct combat encounter if the assassinations begin and the players intervene. Because the timetable is already disrupted, they remain dangerous but are no longer operating under perfect conditions.

The Army and the Siege Window

The Yellow army is already staged a short march from the Red capital, waiting for the signal that the leadership of both smaller kingdoms has been crippled. Because most of the capable fighters of Red and Blue eventually ride south into the Feral Forest, the town is left lightly defended by the time accurate news of the Yellow force arrives. The army can then advance and begin a siege while the two kingdoms’ best troops are scattered, lost, or dead in a forest that is haunted, twisted, and actively hostile to those who stay too long.

Yellow Long-Term Goals & Key Figures

Yellow views the Red–Blue wars as proof of mismanagement. Their plan is rapid military occupation, replacement of both royal houses with cadet branches of the Yellow royal family, imposition of Yellow law and caste structure, and eventual expansion into the Western Wastes to erase the orcs and reclaim the old Black lands. Peasants are to be preserved as a tax base; former nobility are expendable.

Planned regional rulers after conquest:

- Lord Aurelion (younger brother of the Golden Sovereign) – designated for the Red lands.

- Lady Vespera (cousin of the Sovereign) – designated for the Blue lands.

Military notes: Each region is to receive a permanent barracks. A third fortress-barracks is planned on the old contested border strip between Red and Blue (The Battles). Command of the invasion force remains with General Jade.

Crossing into the Yellow Kingdom

Adventurers who wander across the river into the Yellow Kingdom will encounter patrols.

Standard Yellow Kingdom Patrol

A captain and 2–3 well-trained armed guards, all mounted. Armed with short-bows, pikes, and short-swords. Wearing armour. Professional, disciplined, and confident in their authority.

Typical outcomes:

- The patrol will escort the interlopers back to the perimeter and warn them not to cross again without a letter of marque from a recognised noble house.

- If the party resists or is particularly suspicious, they will be arrested, taken to a guardhouse, and jailed pending trial. The trial will take a long time. Punishment depends on whether they resisted arrest (possible death penalty) or have some good standing with the nobilities of the neighbouring kingdoms (taken to the border and released with a warning).

- If the party kills the patrol, they will definitely be identified as bandits. More patrols will emerge to arrest or kill them.

- If they successfully bypass the patrol, they will encounter farmland. The peasants will report them to the next patrol.

Yellow enforces a strict zero-tolerance policy toward unauthorised foreign agents or armed groups inside its territory.

Use in Play: Clear boundary and consequence system. Gives the Yellow Kingdom a concrete “feel” of controlled, bureaucratic power in contrast to the more chaotic Red/Blue borderlands. Useful for parties that try to flee east or investigate the Yellow side of the crisis.

Key Inns and Staff

These inns serve as information hubs, safe-ish bases, and pressure cookers where rumours, hired blades, and competing search parties collide. Format is standardised for quick reference.

Red Capital / Wedding City Inns

The Gilded Stag (Wedding City / Red capital lower town)

The largest and most crowded inn during the crisis. Still hung with wedding bunting that is starting to look ironic.

Innkeeper: Mistress Hearth – sharp-eyed widow who has already raised her prices three times since the princess vanished. She knows which rooms the Yellow “dancers” requested and which local nobles have been drinking too heavily.

Bouncers: Bragg (big, scarred, former Wasteland scavenger) and Cinder (lean, quiet, half-orc who keeps her face covered). Paid extra for the wedding week; now deciding whether the ransom money or a Yellow purse is more attractive.

Serving staff: Lark (young, gossipy, flirts for tips and information), Marrow (older, cynical, actually listens), Piper (quiet, notices who comes and goes at odd hours).

The Broken Spur

Mid-range inn favoured by working knights, sergeants, and serious adventurers.

Innkeeper: Master Ralf, a retired sergeant with a permanent limp and no patience for fools.

Bouncers: Hodge and Pike, both former soldiers.

Serving staff: Bess, Nan, and Tilda – experienced women who miss very little and sell information carefully.

The Laughing Fox

Noisier, cheaper, popular with lesser adventurers, merchants’ guards, and the more respectable sort of sellsword.

Innkeeper: Widow Freya, sharp-tongued and good-humoured.

Bouncer: Grunn (large half-orc, surprisingly even-tempered until someone draws steel indoors).

Serving staff: Will, Kat, and Molly – fast, practical, used to rowdy crowds.

The Candle & Crow

Quieter, slightly more upmarket tavern that also lets a few private rooms. Favoured by messengers, minor officials, and people who prefer not to be overheard.

Innkeeper: Master Edwin, soft-spoken and discreet.

Bouncer: Seth (looks mild and is not).

Serving staff: Agnes and Ruth – older women who have worked there for years and know half the regular travellers by sight.

The Drowned Rat (notorious)

Cheap, rough, located near the river gate. Popular with the lowest tier of adventurers, itinerant labourers, and people who do not want questions asked.

Innkeeper: Clegg (thin, perpetually suspicious).

Bouncers: Whoever is sober enough that night.

Serving staff: Rotating and often temporary. Information here is cheap but unreliable.

The Pilgrim’s Rest

Clean, modest hostel run by a local temple of the old nature spirits (still tolerated). Takes in travellers who cannot afford the better inns and is one of the first places to fill with ordinary folk coming for the spectacle.

Keeper: Sister Alma, practical and kind but firm about no brawling.

Bouncer: None dedicated; the town guard checks it regularly.

Forest-Edge Inns

The Timberline Rest (Forest-edge village, Red side)

The last proper bed before the trees close in. Charcoal smoke and wet wool.

Innkeeper: Old Thornwick – former logger who claims he once walked three days into the forest and still remembers the way back (most people doubt him). He sells “safe path” maps of dubious value.

Bouncer: Cudgel – local tough hired for the sudden influx of search parties. Loyal to the village first.

Serving staff: Briar – knows every charcoal-burner and outlaw who trades at the edge. She can point players toward Mother Thorn or toward people who saw riders leave the city the night the princess vanished.

Blue Kingdom / Road Inns (Examples)

The Blue Lamp (Northern road inn, roughly halfway between the two capitals)

Cleaner, more formal place that usually serves Blue merchants and messengers. Currently full of Blue knights and their retainers.

Innkeeper: Master Quill – precise, keeps ledgers, quietly records who is saying what about the alliance.

Bouncers: A pair of off-duty Blue men-at-arms temporarily assigned here.

Serving staff: Two professional, tight-lipped women who will sell information only if the price and the risk feel right.

The Frosted Tankard (Blue capital / major northern road stop – example)

Solid, well-run establishment favoured by Blue military and official travellers. Stone-built, with a large common room and several private parlours.

Innkeeper: Mistress Cobble – efficient, no-nonsense, former quartermaster’s wife.

Bouncers: Two experienced Blue sergeants on temporary detachment.

Serving staff: A small, professional team who keep their ears open and their mouths carefully shut unless the pay is good and the risk low.

These inns are designed so that railroading DMs can use them as sequential information gates, while improvisational DMs can let the players bounce between them and generate their own complications.

Lodgings note: During the celebrations every decent room is filled. Private citizens rent out spare rooms, attics, and stables at inflated prices. Merchants open temporary dormitories. A large open field on the eastern side of the town is the Tournament Camp (knights’ pavilions, squire tents, horse lines, armourers). The atmosphere is loud, crowded, profitable, and increasingly tense once the princess disappears.

Tavern Talk

Inns, taverns, and the common rooms of the markets are where most of the information, rumour, and social tension of the adventure circulate. Use these scenes freely.

Who is present

- Local townsfolk and farmers in for the festival

- Sellswords, freebooters, and small adventuring companies arguing over shares of the ransom

- Red and Blue soldiers (especially the mixed units while they still have leave)

- Messengers, merchants, and river boatmen

- A scattering of half-orcs and wasteland types (noticeably fewer than usual)

- Yellow retainers and the occasional “dancer” off-duty

- Knights’ squires and lesser retainers

- The occasional quiet observer who is clearly listening more than talking

Common topics before the disappearance

- The coming wedding and whether the alliance will actually hold

- Old border grudges being set aside (or not)

- Prices, the quality of the tournament, and who is favoured to win

- Mild complaints that the usual wasteland traders are missing

- Gossip about the exotic Yellow dancers

After the disappearance

- Endless speculation: kidnapped by Blue? By Yellow? Ran off with a lover? Taken by the forest fae?

- Arguments over the size of the ransom and who will claim it

- Complaints that the best troops are all heading into the Forest while the capital is left thin

- Growing talk that “something is wrong in the west” — first dismissed as festival gloom, later harder to ignore

- Quiet, nervous comments about the Yellow pavilion and the dancers

How to run the scenes

Keep the talk overlapping and half-heard. Let the players overhear contradictory versions of the same rumour. Reward those who buy drinks, tip well, or simply sit and listen. Early refugees from the wastelands can appear as tired, angry, or frightened voices at the edge of the common room; most listeners will still write them off until the Castle Witch or hard evidence makes the western threat undeniable. The same taverns that feel festive and opportunistic on Day 1–4 become tense, rumour-choked, and potentially violent once the garrisons leave and the first real bad news arrives.

Probable Player Directions (Most Likely Branches)

The world is already in motion. The princess’s disappearance is the spark, but four crises are running at once.

Branch A – The Forest Search (the “obvious” path)

Players join the general rush into the Feral Forest. Early encounters with competing search parties, edge villages, and growing strangeness. Possible outcomes range from finding only traces to realising the forest is not the real priority.

Branch B – Stay in the Wedding City

Players remain while the garrisons empty. They are among the first to notice the Yellow “dancers,” the wrong people getting sick, or late-night riders. Escalation into assassination attempts and local panic. Naturally collides with orc news later.

Branch C – West toward the Orcs / Rook

Players follow the physical trail or ignore the forest rumour and head west. They may discover Ashwell, reach Rook’s Band, or encounter the scale of Warlord Gristle’s raid while both kingdoms are distracted.

Branch D – Alternative Escape Routes / Investigation

Players treat the forest as a red herring and dig into city and edge clues (Elias, horses, Lira, Ashwell). Rewards careful investigation.

Branch E – Play the Kingdoms Against Each Other

Players pick a side (or pretend to) and profit from the mutual suspicion between Red and Blue. Old blood is close to the surface.

Branch F – Full Opportunist / Bandit Mode

The line between adventurer and bandit is thin. Some groups claim ransom shares, loot abandoned manors, or sell information to the highest bidder (including the Yellow ambassador). The module supports this; the world eventually pushes back through reputation, bounty, or the arriving crises.

Most groups will blend two or more of these. No single “correct” path exists. The referee is encouraged to let the four cascading crises develop in parallel and to reward player decisions that create new complications rather than simply resolving the ones already on the table.

Tone and Player Odds

The situation is deliberately over-stacked. Multiple independent crises are already in motion. Player characters are unlikely to “save the day” in any conventional sense. More probably they will witness, accelerate, or slightly redirect the collapse of the previous crude stability. Success is measured in personal survival, the fate of the princess and her child, and whatever temporary alliances or advantages they can carve out of the wreckage.

The thin line between adventurer and bandit is intentional. Reputation is currency. A party that behaves like opportunistic scavengers may still be knighted if they deliver the princess or expose the Yellow plot; a party that behaves nobly may still be declared outlaws if they choose the wrong side at the wrong moment.

Every great adventure begins with someone refusing to do the sensible thing. The rest is consequence.

DM Guidance Tools

This structure gives both styles of referee something solid to hold while still leaving the central truth intact: the adventure is the consequence of several people making short-sighted decisions at the same time. The players get to decide which consequence they walk into first.

The referee is encouraged to let the four cascading crises develop in parallel and to reward player decisions that create new complications rather than simply resolving the ones already on the table.

Individual Use in Play and Integration Notes appear throughout the relevant NPC and location sections above; they are kept with the material they support for quick reference during play.

Simplified Timeline (DM Quick Reference)

• Days 1–4: Celebrations peak. Golden Veil performs. Early in the week the mixed military unit and The Battles restoration plan are publicly agreed; news spreads (including to Yellow). Absence of usual wasteland traders is noticed but largely dismissed. A few early wasteland refugees may appear with stories of heavy raiding.
  
• Night of Day 5: Princess and Knobalot leave west.
  
• Day 6: Disappearance discovered. Forest search declared.
  
• Day 7: Main forces enter the Forest.
  
• Days 8–14: Forest attrition; Yellow army advances; Gristle’s full host becomes undeniable as more refugees and hard news arrive from the west.
  
• Days 15–18: Red capital falls to Yellow.
  
• Days 16–19: Orc scouts hit Rook’s Band village; princess’s party flees.
  
• Days 22–28: Orc host and Yellow army meet in the field — decisive battle, outcome open.

Detailed Timeline of Events

(Most probable sequence if the player characters do not interfere)

Day 1 – Opening of the Wedding Celebrations

Festivities begin. Tournament lists opened. Golden Veil arrives and performs. Early political and military discussions produce agreement on the mixed unit and the post-wedding posting to The Battles (including clearing and restoring the ruined bastion). News of this agreement begins to circulate in the town and is reported to Yellow. The usual wasteland traders are noticeably scarce; a few early refugees from the west may already be present with stories of heavier-than-normal raiding, but most people dismiss this as ordinary border trouble.

Days 2–3 – Height of the Festivities

Jousts, feasts, private entertainments. Golden Veil performs in town square and castle. Selected nobles request private company from the dancers. Integration of Red and Blue soldiers begins behind closed doors and in limited leave; old grudges soften into mutual respect more often than expected. Yellow army remains hidden, waiting for the assassination signal. The mixed-unit plan is now public knowledge among the soldiery and much of the town. Conversation in the markets and taverns begins to notice the absence of wastelanders more clearly; the topic is still treated as festival gloom or exaggeration by most.

Night of Day 5 (Two Nights Before the Wedding)

Princess Pie slips out of the castle using guard rotations and the sleeping draught. She briefly uses Elias’s Narrow House, then rides west with Sir Knobalot. They reach Ashwell Steading, rest, and continue into the Western Wastes toward Rook’s Band. At dawn the disappearance is discovered. Chaos erupts.

Day 6 – The Alarm

Both kings issue a joint proclamation and ransom. Official conclusion (reached quickly with little evidence) is that the princess has fled into the Feral Forest. Forces begin mustering. Golden Veil’s schedule is thrown into disorder; some opportunistic killings may still occur, but the coordinated strike is aborted. Yellow rider is sent with news of the disappearance rather than success. Elias notices the empty house but does not yet speak.

Day 7 – The Great Departure (Originally the Wedding Day)

Bulk of capable fighting strength of both Red and Blue rides south into the Feral Forest. Capital and countryside left lightly garrisoned. Search parties begin to fragment almost immediately. Late in the day or next morning Elias finally gives his confused testimony. By now the main forces are already gone.

Days 8–10 – Cascading Consequences

Forest search parties suffer attrition. Princess Pie reaches Rook’s Band. Yellow army, aware the Red capital is stripped, begins its advance. Warlord Gristle’s host, already on the move, becomes impossible to dismiss as more refugees and concrete news of a unified orc army under a war chief named Gristle reach the remaining settlements. The Castle Witch’s divination (if consulted) can confirm the scale of the western threat at the referee’s chosen moment.

Days 11–14 – The Siege and the Raid

Yellow army arrives before the Red capital and begins siege works. Remaining leadership is fragmented and under-strength. Gristle’s orcs push deep into the western farmlands. News reaches scattered search parties slowly and incompletely.

Days 15–18 – Fall of the Red Capital

Yellow army storms the lightly defended Red Castle Town. Most remaining Red and Blue nobles present are killed or captured. Yellow forces secure the castle and town. Straggling knights returning from the Forest find the gates closed or already under occupation. The planned political marriage is dead; the Red–Blue alliance fractures under mutual blame and military disaster.

Days 16–19 – Raid on Rook’s Band Village

A small orc scout party discovers the Broken Banner village. They attempt a raid. Rook, Sir Knobalot, and the pregnant Princess Pie escape with a handful of the band and flee eastward, intending to reach Red Castle Town. They encounter refugees and fleeing knights carrying news that the capital has already fallen. The group is forced to turn aside or go to ground.

Days 19–22 – Refugees and the Orc Decision

Large numbers of refugees push into the Western Wastes and border marches. Many run into Gristle’s main host. Through captives the orcs learn that Yellow has seized the Red capital and that both smaller kingdoms are collapsing. Gristle turns the bulk of his forces north toward the Blue Kingdom.

Days 22–28 – Burning of the Blue Capital and the Decisive Meeting

The orc host reaches Blue Castle Town while its defences are still incomplete. The orcs storm the walls, sack the town, and burn large sections. The destruction is largely complete before the Yellow army, advancing north from the captured Red capital, can arrive. The two forces then encounter one another in the open ground between the former heartlands. A decisive battle is fought. The outcome is not predetermined.

Days 28–35 – New Balance of Power

Yellow holds the Red capital firmly and advances into the ruined Blue lands. Orcs control large stretches of the western and northern border regions and the ashes of the Blue capital. The old Red–Blue alliance is extinct. Most higher nobility of both kingdoms are dead or captive. Princess Pie, Rook, and Sir Knobalot remain at large with the unborn child — a legitimate Red heir in the hands of a bandit who also carries a disputed claim on Yellow blood. They become one of the few remaining wild cards.

Early Investigation Clues (Rough Difficulty Order)

• Stable-hands and the horse purchase at The Silver Bit (easy, limited value).
  
• Elias’s delayed testimony (medium, points to a lover who is not Knobalot).
  
• Ashwell Steading (medium–hard, clear western trail).
  
• Lira under pressure (hard, pregnancy secret).
  
• Mother Harrow’s cryptic answers (variable).
  
• Observing members of Rook’s Band in the inns (medium, if recognised).

News Travel

• Inside the capital: hours to a day.
  
• To the Forest search parties: 2–4 days.
  
• Between Red and Blue capitals: 3–5 days under normal conditions, longer once roads fill with refugees.
  
• “Forest is the only theory” remains the official line for at least 4–6 days; cracks appear once Elias and the horse traders speak, but the bulk of the search is already committed.

Returning Forest Parties

Most never went deep. Those who return are fewer than set out, tired, lightly wounded or shaken, and often quarrelsome. A minority are genuinely changed — quieter, prone to staring, or convinced they saw things that could not be. Morale is low; many simply want to go home. Very few have any useful information about the princess.

Character Sheets (AD&D 2nd Edition – Basic Archetypes)

All sheets are kept deliberately basic, cliched, and easy to modify. Stats and equipment represent the most probable “perfect case” for the archetype. Use standard 2nd Edition AD&D rules (Player’s Handbook, Dungeon Master’s Guide, Monstrous Manual, etc.). Adjust as needed for your table. All are human unless noted. Alignments and exact details may be shifted by the referee.

Princess Pie

Class/Level: Fighter 2 / Noble (treat as 0-level combatant with some training) or simply special NPC

Alignment: Chaotic Good (stubborn personal honour)

Ability Scores: Str 10, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 13, Cha 16

HP: 12 AC: 8 (leather or none) THAC0: 19

Weapons: Dagger, possibly a short sword if prepared.

Notes: Not a front-line combatant. Primary concerns are the child and personal integrity. Use social and roleplaying emphasis.

Sir Knobalot

Class/Level: Fighter 8

Alignment: Lawful Good (loyalty to the princess above the crown)

Ability Scores: Str 17, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 15

HP: 58 AC: 2 (plate mail + shield) THAC0: 13

Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger. Possibly a minor magical weapon if the referee desires.

Notes: Classic loyal knight archetype. Excellent in a fight, less so at politics. Will defend the princess to the death.

Device: Gules, a hound sejant argent, collared and loyal. Signifies steadfast guardianship, personal loyalty, and faithful service.

King Gideon Russet

Class/Level: Fighter 7 (aging)

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Ability Scores: Str 14, Dex 10, Con 11, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 13

HP: 40 AC: 4 (chain or better when armoured) THAC0: 14

Weapons: Long sword, dagger.

Notes: Pragmatic ruler under extreme pressure. More politician than active combatant at this stage of life.

King Cobalt the Careful

Class/Level: Fighter 6 / Noble

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Ability Scores: Str 12, Dex 11, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 13

HP: 35 AC: 4 THAC0: 15

Notes: Status-conscious and risk-averse. Prefers to act through subordinates.

Mother Harrow (Castle Witch)

Class/Level: Specialist Wizard (Diviner) 9 or equivalent wise-woman / seer

Alignment: True Neutral

Ability Scores: Str 6, Dex 9, Con 10, Int 16, Wis 17, Cha 11

HP: 22 AC: 10 (or better with protective magic) THAC0: 18

Notes: Cryptic information source rather than combatant. Her “spells” can be treated as limited divinations, herbal knowledge, and the sleeping draught she provided. Keep magical power low and mysterious.

Harem-Captain (Golden Veil leader)

Class/Level: Thief 7 / Assassin

Alignment: Lawful Evil (professional)

Ability Scores: Str 11, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 13, Cha 15

HP: 28 AC: 5 (Dex + light armour or none) THAC0: 17 (with backstab multiplier)

Weapons: Curved ritual blades (treat as short swords or daggers), garrote, poison if the referee allows.

Notes: Cold professional. Extremely dangerous in close quarters or by surprise. The entire Golden Veil can be statted as similar lower-level versions (Thief 3–5 / Assassin).

Typical Yellow Kingdom Patrol Member

Class/Level: Fighter 3–4

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Ability Scores: Str 14, Dex 13, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 10

HP: 20–28 AC: 5 (chain or scale + shield) THAC0: 17–18

Weapons: Short sword, short bow, pike (or spear). Mounted.

Captain: Fighter 5, slightly better scores and equipment.

Typical Soldier (Blue Red or Yellow)

Class/Level: Fighter 1–2

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Ability Scores: Average (Str 12–14, etc.)

HP: 8–14 AC: 6–7 (chain or studded + small shield) THAC0: 19–20

Weapons: Short sword, small shield, possibly spear or short bow. Tabards showing heraldry.

Typical Knight (Red Blue or Yellow)

Class/Level: Fighter 5–7

Alignment: Lawful Good or Lawful Neutral

Ability Scores: Str 15–16, Dex 12–14, Con 13–15, Int 10–12, Wis 11–13, Cha 12–14

HP: 35–50 AC: 2–3 (plate + shield) THAC0: 14–16

Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger, possibly mace. Mounted with squire support.

Tournament Knights

All are variants on the Typical Knight profile above. 

Sir Aldric of the Oak (Red)

Class/Level: Fighter 6
Alignment: Lawful Good
Ability Scores: Str 15, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 11, Wis 13, Cha 13
HP: 42 AC: 2 (plate + shield) THAC0: 15
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger.
Notes: Steady, traditional, slightly pompous. Relies on proven methods and proper form. Squire: Young Tam (eager, loyal, sixteen).
Device: Vert, an oak tree eradicated proper. Signifies strength, endurance, deep roots, and steadfast tradition.

Sir Brenna Red-Hand (Red)

Class/Level: Fighter 7
Alignment: Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 17, Dex 13, Con 15, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 12
HP: 52 AC: 2 (plate + shield) THAC0: 14
Weapons: Long sword, lance, mace (favoured for close work).
Notes: Aggressive, competitive, scarred from border fighting. Presses hard and expects the same from others. Squire: Peta (sharp-eyed girl, quiet, very competent).
Device: Gules, a gauntleted hand couped argent, the fingers stained gules. Signifies martial prowess, border bloodshed, and a willingness to strike first.

Sir Cedric the Younger (Red)

Class/Level: Fighter 5
Alignment: Neutral Good
Ability Scores: Str 14, Dex 14, Con 13, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 16
HP: 36 AC: 3 (plate + shield) THAC0: 16
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger.
Notes: Charming, ambitious, plays to the crowd. More concerned with reputation and advancement than pure martial excellence. Squire: Robb (hero-worshipping, a bit clumsy).
Device: Or, a rising sun gules. Signifies ambition, new glory, and the desire to outshine one’s elders.

Sir Knobalot (Red) 

Class/Level: Fighter 8
Alignment: Lawful Good (loyalty to the princess above the crown)
Ability Scores: Str 17, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 15
HP: 58 AC: 2 (plate mail + shield) THAC0: 13
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger. Possibly a minor magical weapon if the referee desires.
Notes: Classic loyal knight archetype. Excellent in a fight, less so at politics. Will defend the princess to the death.
Device: Gules, a hound sejant argent, collared and loyal. Signifies steadfast guardianship, personal loyalty, and faithful service.

Sir Elowen Frost (Blue)

Class/Level: Fighter 6
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 14, Dex 16, Con 13, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 12
HP: 40 AC: 2 (plate + shield) THAC0: 15
Weapons: Long sword, lance (specialist), dagger.
Notes: Cool, precise, excellent jouster. Favours control and perfect timing over brute force. Squire: Lina (observant, records everything).
Device: Argent, a snowflake (or ice crystal) azure. Signifies cool precision, clarity, and unyielding discipline.

Sir Gareth of the Lake (Blue)

Class/Level: Fighter 5
Alignment: Neutral Good
Ability Scores: Str 15, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 15
HP: 38 AC: 3 (plate + shield) THAC0: 16
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger.
Notes: Affable, well-liked, not the deepest thinker. Easy company and a solid, if unspectacular, fighter. Squire: Matthias (cheerful, good with horses).
Device: Azure, a water-lily (or lake) argent. Signifies openness, good nature, and the calm surface of the northern waters.

Sir Torin (Isolde’s Champion) (Blue)

Class/Level: Fighter 7
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 16, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 11, Wis 12, Cha 13
HP: 48 AC: 2 (plate + shield) THAC0: 14
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger.
Notes: Intensely loyal to the Blue queen consort, proud. Measures himself by service to Lady Isolde. Squire: Kael (younger and fiercely protective of his knight’s honour).
Device: Azure, a crowned heart argent. Signifies devoted loyalty, personal honour, and service to a chosen lady.

Sir Dorian Wall (Blue)

Class/Level: Fighter 6
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 15, Dex 11, Con 15, Int 11, Wis 14, Cha 9
HP: 45 AC: 2 (plate + shield) THAC0: 15
Weapons: Long sword, lance, mace.
Notes: Grim, dutiful, little sense of humour. Treats every duty as a wall that must not fall. Squire: Edric (serious, already thinking like a knight).
Device: Argent, a stone wall (or tower) sable. Signifies steadfast defence, grim duty, and immovable resolve.

Sir Kael of the Golden Spur (Yellow)

Class/Level: Fighter 6
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 15, Dex 13, Con 13, Int 12, Wis 11, Cha 14
HP: 40 AC: 2 (plate + shield) THAC0: 15
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger.
Notes: Polished, confident, faintly condescending toward the smaller kingdoms. Carries himself as a representative of a greater power. Squire: Darius (well-trained, keeps his opinions to himself).
Device: Or, a spur (or golden spur) sable. Signifies refinement, cavalry excellence, and the golden authority of the Yellow Kingdom.

Sir Lysandra Veil (Yellow)

Class/Level: Fighter 5 / Thief 2 (or Fighter 6 with strong observational skills)
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 13, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 13
HP: 34 AC: 3 (plate or lighter when preferred + shield) THAC0: 16
Weapons: Long sword, lance, dagger.
Notes: Observant, controlled, more spy than pure jouster. Notices what others miss and reports quietly. Squire: Sera (quiet, notices details others miss).
Device: Or, a veiled eye sable. Signifies watchfulness, discretion, and the hidden gaze of the Yellow court.

The Black Knight

Race: Half-Orc
Class/Level: Fighter 8
Alignment: Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 18/30, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 11, Wis 12, Cha 8 (helm always closed)
HP: 62 AC: 1 or 2 (heavy, possibly scavenged plate of unusual make) THAC0: 13
Weapons: Great sword or heavy mace, lance when mounted. Fights with raw power and surprising skill.
Notes: Heavily armoured half-orc who never removes his helm. Claims to be the last knight of the lost Black Kingdom and speaks of old barrows and forgotten gods. In truth he found the armour in the Wastes. Formidable fighter with no loyalty to the orc hordes. Favoured to win the tournament (which is abandoned before it concludes). Silent, imposing, travels and fights alone (no squire).
Device: Sable, a broken crown (or barrow mound) argent. Signifies lost sovereignty, the forgotten Black Kingdom, and a claim to an older, fallen order.

Warlord Gristle

Class/Level: Fighter 9 (orc-blooded / degenerate human)

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Ability Scores: Str 18/50, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 11, Cha 14 (to his own kind)

HP: 72 AC: 5 (scavenged armour + toughness) THAC0: 12

Weapons: Crude but effective heavy weapon (great club, spiked maul, or scavenged battle axe), dagger.

Notes: Unusually intelligent for his kind. Tactical leader rather than mindless brute. Use as a formidable battlefield commander.

Standard Orc (Typical Warrior)

Class/Level: Fighter 1–2, 

Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Ability Scores: Str 15–16, Con 14–15, low Int/Wis/Cha
HP 8–16, AC 7–8 (scraps/hide), 

Weapons: crude club / spiked stick / rusty blade
Notes: Matches the setting’s degenerate, hungry, poorly disciplined fighters who follow a strong leader mainly out of fear

Weakling Orc (Runt / Malnourished / Pressed non-combatant)

Class/Level: 0-level or Fighter 0–1
Ability Scores: Much lower physical stats, 

HP 3–7, AC 9–10
Weapons: Club, stick, rock, or nothing
Notes: For runts, the starved, camp labour, expendable first waves, or low-threat encounters that show how desperate Gristle’s host really is

Rook’s Band – Full Character Sheets

Rook (Leader)

Race: Human Male
Class/Level: Thief 6 / Fighter 3 (or treat as multi-class equivalent charismatic bandit leader)
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 13, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 15, Wis 12, Cha 17
HP: 32 AC: 6 (leather armour + Dex) THAC0: 18 (improved by thief backstab and fighter levels)
Weapons: Short sword, dagger, short bow.
Thief Skills (approximate): PP 55%, OL 50%, F/RT 45%, MS 50%, HS 40%, DN 20%, CW 90%, RL 30%
Notes: Silver-tongued leader of Rook’s Band. Excellent talker and opportunist, competent but not legendary fighter. Genuinely fond of the princess (or at least of the leverage she represents). Focus on charisma, persuasion, and reading situations.

Magpie (Lieutenant & Quartermaster)

Race: Human Female
Class/Level: Thief 4 / Fighter 2 (or pure Thief 5 with practical skills)
Alignment: Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 11, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 13, Cha 12
HP: 22 AC: 7 (leather + Dex) THAC0: 19
Weapons: Short sword, dagger, sling or short bow.
Thief Skills (approximate): PP 40%, OL 45%, F/RT 40%, MS 40%, HS 35%, DN 15%, CW 85%, RL 25%
Notes: Sharp, practical, keeps the band fed and the accounts (such as they are). Distrusts romance and royal complications. The voice of caution and logistics in the group.

Hearth (Muscle / Sergeant)

Race: Human Male
Class/Level: Fighter 5
Alignment: Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 16, Dex 12, Con 15, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 10
HP: 38 AC: 5 (chain mail or scavenged equivalent + shield) THAC0: 16
Weapons: Long sword or battle axe, dagger, possibly a spear.
Notes: Big, steady former Red man-at-arms who deserted after a bad campaign. The band’s muscle and closest thing to a sergeant. Loyal to the group more than to any ideal. Reliable in a fight, not subtle.

Bracken (Tracker & Scout)

Race: Half-Orc
Class/Level: Ranger 3 / Thief 2 (or Fighter 3 / Thief 2)
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 14, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 8
HP: 24 AC: 7 (leather + Dex) THAC0: 18
Weapons: Short sword, long knife, short bow.
Notes: Quiet, effective half-orc tracker and scout. More comfortable in the wastes than in any town. Excellent at moving unseen and reading the land. (Different individual from the half-orc bouncer of the same name at The Gilded Stag unless the referee deliberately makes them the same person.)

Sparrow (Lookout & Thief)

Race: Human (young adult)
Class/Level: Thief 3
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 10, Dex 17, Con 11, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 13
HP: 12 AC: 6 (leather + high Dex) THAC0: 19
Weapons: Dagger, short sword, sling.
Thief Skills (approximate): PP 50%, OL 40%, F/RT 30%, MS 45%, HS 40%, DN 15%, CW 80%, RL 10%
Notes: Young, quick-fingered thief and lookout. Hero-worships Rook. Likely to be the first to spot approaching strangers. Eager, a bit reckless, still learning.

Sister Bone (Herbalist / Healer)

Race: Human Female (middle-aged)
Class/Level: 0-level specialist / low-level Priest or Wizard equivalent (herbalist & midwife). Treat as having the practical abilities of a 3rd-level healer without full spell access, or give limited 1st–2nd level priest spells if the referee prefers.
Alignment: Neutral
Ability Scores: Str 9, Dex 11, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 15, Cha 12
HP: 14 AC: 9 or 10 (no armour, or padded) THAC0: 20
Weapons: Dagger, staff, or knife. Knows basic poisons and antitoxins.
Notes: Former midwife who left her village after an accusation of witchcraft. Handles wounds, births, and the occasional quiet poisoning. Practical, wary, and valued by the band for her skills rather than her fighting ability.

Generic Unnamed Hand (Deserter / Debt-runner / Half-orc)

Race: Human or Half-Orc
Class/Level: Fighter 1–2 or Thief 1–2
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral or Neutral
Ability Scores: Average to slightly above (Str 12–14, Dex 12–14, Con 11–13, others average)
HP: 8–16 AC: 7–8 (leather or studded leather) THAC0: 19–20
Weapons: Short sword, spear, club, dagger, or short bow (whatever was scavenged or stolen).
Notes: Provides numbers. Loyal while the band is safe and fed; individual self-interest rises quickly if the village is threatened or the cache is lost. Use 2–3 of these as needed.

Generic Bandit / Adventurer (Independent or Hired)

Race: Human (occasionally half-orc or other)
Class/Level: Fighter 2–4 or Thief 2–4 (or multi-class equivalent)
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral, Neutral, or Neutral Evil
Ability Scores: Str 13, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 10, Cha 10 (adjust ±2 as desired)
HP: 14–28 AC: 6–7 (leather or studded + Dex) THAC0: 17–19
Weapons: Short sword or long sword, dagger, short bow or crossbow. Light armour.
Notes: The classic opportunistic sellsword or small-time bandit. Can be found in the inns, on the roads, in The Battles, or claiming shares of the ransom. Reputation is their main currency. Easy to modify up or down for specific encounters.

Other NPCs (Lira, Elias, innkeepers, Mother Thorn, etc.)

Treat as 0-level or low-level specialists (Thief 1–3, Fighter 1–2, or non-combatant). Give them the skills and equipment appropriate to their roles and keep combat secondary to roleplaying and information. Mother Thorn can be given limited herbalist / wise-woman abilities similar to a low-level priest or wizard without full spell lists. (Full sheets for all named members of Rook’s Band appear above.)

These character sheets (as with the whole story structure) are starting points only. Adjust freely for the tone and power level of your one-shots/campaign.

The Escalating Epic of Princess Pie  ©2026 Ordo Octopia. All Rights Reserved.